I adore painted toenails. Fingernails not so much, but something about having my toenails all done up keeps me smiling all throughout the day.
Unfortunately, what I do have in adoration I seriously lack in ability. I can’t. I try and I try and I try, but somehow I always end up with uneven colour, toes that are stuck together, died cuticles, and missing patches where my toes managed to overlap – toe-separators notwithstanding!
Anyhow, come the day of a friends wedding, I fell in love with these peep-toe sandals. I had the remnants of henna staining my two big toes (how the heck was I supposed to know it lasts for freaking ever on your toes?!) and getting the planned pedi totally slipped my mind. So the day of, I slip on my heels and look down at two orange halfmoons – completely ruining my look. Deciding to face life’s challenges (har har) head on, I grab my polish and have at it. Half an hour later, and it’s obviously a lost cause. 45 minutes later, I’ve managed to successfully – and I use this word very very loosely – managed to paint the first three toes – big, pointer, and middle. I’m running late and I figure what the heck, no one’s going to see the last two toes anyway.
The next day I head by Sport Check for a pair of good work-out shoes, and the guy asks to measure my feet. In a fit of forgetfulness, I pull my pumps off and there are my toes – six all dressed and four regular, please. He snorts, covers it up with a cough and I perfect my “I’m just staring at that fascinating spot on the ceiling” routine.