Monthly Archives: August 2009

Spoof like you’ve never seen!

K, while this might not be Islamicaly sound, it’s vastly amusing! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did =)

Here’s a quick translation of all the Islamic terms:

Iftar – meal that breaks the fast (when the sun comes up). Panculturally most awaited time of any day, hands down
Witr – one prayer. You do the sequence only once.
Sahoor – meal that starts ones fast (before the sun comes up). Panculturally, the time of day when the most stuffing of the face ensues
Thob – long white robe wore by men.
MashAllah – Whatever Allah (God) wills. Said when you see or do something good
 – prayer
Jammat – congregational prayer
Qiyyam – prayer at night (supererogatory)
Dhikr – remembrance of Allah.
Fajir – morning prayer (before the sun comes up) or…
Fajir – the time of day before sun comes up
Jummah – Friday congregational prayer
Taraweeh – congregational prayer after the night prayers, exclusive to Ramadan
Akhi – my brother!
Masjid – mosque
Jumma – also Friday.
[covered in black spots] – refers to a heart that has sinned. Each sin results in a black dotwhich stains the heart
Alim – scholar
Kufi – we all know what this one is
Sidi – sir, also like buddy, or pal
Hooka – waterpipe
Haram – non permissible
Maghreb – prayer that occurs at sunset



Filed under Humor, islam, Lyrics, Ramadan

Burn baby, burn

disclaimer: this is, by no means, a religious post. Rather, it’s an interpretation of certain events.

There are certain things in life that make us see red. Where we can, quite literally, feel our blood boil, our vision haze, and are overcome by an overwhelming urge to rip into something. Well, at least I hope it’s ‘we’ and not just ‘me’ but either way it’s there, and when it rears its malicious head, you best stay out of my way.

That doesn’t happen all that often. Or perhaps all too often depending on your point of view. Injustice is one. Blind, stubborn ignorance. Racism. JEALOUSY, thuma jealousy, thuma al-jealousy!!

I was talking to a friend of mine, and she just bought everything rushing back. The hatred and the pointless, selfish jealousy yeah sure, but mostly the horrible affects you have to deal with and clean up after when they’re done with you. Let me explain.

But first, there’s a need to differentiate between the types of jealousy, I think. There’s the “Omg, I wish I could be as good/successful/etc as so and so, mashAllah!” This is productive jealousy. It’s good because you’re striving to be a better person using another someone else as a role model, and you’ve said mashAllah, which protects said someone.

The second is benign jealousy. This one is tricky. It can turn malicious at any second. An example would be “I wish I had that car!” Notice the lack of mashAllah. Not good, not good at all. But at the same time, you’re not actively wishing them harm; rather you just want what they have.

The third is straight malicious jealousy. “Bitch! What has she done to deserve that car? Burn and die, hoebag.” Pretty much self-explanatory. This is when one wants something some one else has, and actually wishes that person didn’t have it, or loses it in some painful/humiliating manner.

Now, I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the affects of jealousy. My grandma used to tell me I have a weak star. Translate: it means I’m more susceptible to the ‘evil eye’ than others. Now, I’m not going to get into the evil eye discussion. Suffice to say I believe nothing can harm or benefit you expect what Allah (swt) wills (yeah, I’m a predestined-ite), and that to ward it off there are certain things it’s your responsibility to do: specific ayas, dua’as you should read.

But, and this is a big but, that does not excuse those goddamned people who insist on harming others through their jealousy.

Examples? I have many, but here are ones that come foremost to mind:

  1. “You rented a car?? But you’ve been in the city for less than a week! My, you sure work fast!”
    Result: Kitchen burns down later in the day
  2. “You rented another car right after the first? You sure don’t wait before spending all your money, eh?”
    Result: Car accident in said rented car. Opponents: Our VW Golf vs a semi-truck. Not. Fun.
  3. At work, my coworkers are in awe of my typing speed. They call teachers in from other departments to witness. All teachers start to come to me to type up their assignments/work rather than the people who get paid to do it. “Miss. S&S, you think you can walk in here, at 19, and just because you’re Canadian become a grade 6 teacher and take away my job?”
    Result: Over the weekend, I burnt two fingers, sprained three, had the door slammed on my left hand, and fell down the stairs, scraping two of the fingers on my right hand raw. I’m not exaggerating. I wish I was.
  4. The most eligible bachelor in my Dad’s village asks me to marry him. Due to familial pressure (I’m threatened with bodily harm and ghadab (hate for life kind of thing) from my grandmother) I decide to give the guy a chance.
    Result: The day after I met him, I spend five days heaving till I vomit blood.
  5. Day before our midterm: “You barely study and yet manage to get better grades than I do. I spend all night reviewing, that’s so unfair.”
    Result: day of our midterm I wake up sick as a dog, barely make it to class, fail the test.
  6. “I love the way you dress.”
    Result: trip down stairs, breaking the heel on my boot and scraping my right hand raw (again).

There are more, but this is getting me pissed off all over again. Then you have those who, because you’re doing something they don’t have the dedication or balls to step up and do, belittle you, degrade you, and give you the worst time of it.

Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to stop. Whoever the heck you are, you’re going to be satisfied with what you have, and leave everyone else the hell alone. Jeez. And I, I’m going to pray to the good Lord that you learn to leave others the heck alone.

Even the Prophet said: “Jealousy eats up faith (good deeds) like fire burns dry wood.”

So, really, you’re actually benefitting your conceited self if you’d just leave everyone alone.

You feel me?


Filed under Head-Bangers, Ignorance, Rant, Syria

Bidet to you, sir

Janitor: Yeah, we got him. And he’s gonna pay.
J.D.: They’re actually arresting someone for stealing pudding and toilet paper?
Janitor: No. They found twenty bottles of Vicodin in his backpack. *pause* did you steal pudding and toilet paper?
J.D.: What? No! I hate pudding and I don’t use toilet paper. *pause* I have one of those french things that shoots water up your butt.
Janitor: Bidet?
J.D.: Bidet to you, sir.


mad Scrub ❤


Filed under Scrubs

Ramadan ’09 – 01

Every year I do the same damn mistake. I leave off my days till the last possible minute, and end up fasting them directly before Ramadan. So, I practically start a week earlier than everyone else. And while it’s nice because that way I get some practice in and the first day isn’t as hard on me as it is on others, it would be nice if it was by choice rather than having to do it because I falied to do it earlier.

But it’s all good. The first day was reallllyyy easy. I was craving cookie dough like you wouldn’t believe though. It’s all my fault =(! I became a fan of cookie dough on facebook, and then went through the pictures. OHMYGOD in heaven. *sniffle* I made my Dad drop me off at Shoppers so I could pick up some serious chocolate on the way home from taraweeh though. And then I couldn’t eat any of it…

Speaking of praying at the mosque. I heart fajir prayer there like you wouldn’t believe <3. Only I get there with about enough time to pray the taheeyat and the sunnah and then we start. Tomorrow, I’m going to make an effort to go a little earlier so I can just sit there and reflect and read some Quran.

And speaking of reading Quran, who’s on page 41? That’s riiighhtt! Moi! Why am I so excited? Because this is only the second time I’ve ever read so far. I have a confession to make… I’ve never read the whole Quran. Never, ever never. The furthest I’ve gone is 49. So would you look at that; living in Syria did pay off! *gasp*

And, finally, speaking of Syria. I miss Ramadan there sooooo much =(. I’m honestly considering spending next Ramadan there. You never know. If our house in the Sham is empty by then (there are tenants right now) why not?? It’d be nice to be all alone (LOOL. right. with my family? Imbossible. But a girl can dream, no?)

Ramadan Kareem everyone!!!!!


Filed under islam, Ramadan

Ramadan Reaches the Whitehouse

This is the beginning! One day, Ramadan too will be as commercialized as Christmas, Easter, and Valentine! LOL!

Jp… seriously though.  Is it pathetic that I feel acknowledged?

Yay Obama ❤


Filed under islam, Islamophobia, News, Ramadan


YES! (and not just because I’m fasting… *ache* *groan* *growl*)

A few years ago I read a story, and it’s been with me every since. Anytime I want something, or I plan to go for something I remember this story and I ask myself just how bad I want it.

Once, a man went to a Sheikh with a compliant. He said “Oh Sheikh! I want, more than anything, to see the Prophet Mohammed in my dreams. But I never do. Can you please help me?” The Sheikh said that he could and took the man into his house. At dinnertime, he called him into a room, where he served him platter upon platter of salty fish. Not once did he offer him a cup of water, and not once did the poor  man ask for a cup of water. The man waited patiently for the Sheikh to give him some water, but dinner time turned to bed time, and still no water. The Sheikh left the room, and the man grew hopeful. But when the Sheikh came back, all he carried were linens for the bed. He left again, again without leaving any water. The man, thirsty though he was, went to sleep.

The next morning, he woke up and realized that he hadn’t seen the Prophet at all. When the Sheikh came in, it was to see a livid man, who claimed that he had failed in his promise.

“Well,” asked the Sheikh, “what did you see?”

“Water!” spat the man. “Jugs brimming with water, water cascading from waterfalls, rivers, springs, wells, lakes… any form of water you can imagine I saw in my dream last night, but not once did I see the Prophet!”

The Sheikh replied “when you thirst for the sight of the Prophet as you thirsted for water tonight, then and only then will you see him!”

It always leaves me asking, all those things I procrastinate on – and the list is quite long – just how badly do I thirst for them? Do I crave them? Because if I did, then I’d surely have found a way to achieve them rather than leaving them simmering on the back burner for so long.

Alhamdulillah, I’ve started with a few… after God alone knows how long. Here’s to the rest then, inshAllah!!

So how badly do you want it?


Filed under islam, Personal, Ramadan, Reflections

Ramadan Resolutions

Nine or ten more days left inshAllah, and then it’s hellooooo Ramadan!!

This Ramadan will be the Ramadan to end all Ramadans! And I know I say this every year but this year will be different, God willing. This time I have a game plan.

Step 1: Make Ramadan resolutions. Buy a journal to keep track of successes (new things get me motivated, lol.)

Step 2: Order the Heartwheel Journal. Use it. =)

Step 3: Pufiry my intentions; before an act, during an act, and after an act.

K. So step 1:

Ramadan Resolutions!

  1. Read the entire Quran (mandatory)
  2. Pray Fajir and Ishaa congregation at the mosque
  3. Start and break my fast according to the Sunnah.

Those are my three major goals.  I also have minor goals:

  1. Continue with memorization of the Hadeeth Nawawi (on number 3 =D)
  2. Strengthen the weekly halaqa I give.
  3. Strengthen my ties with my family and community
  4. Say the morning and evening dua’as
  5. Purify my intentions before, during, and after an act!
  6. SMILE =D
  7. Thank Allah (swt) for everything.
  8. Occupy spare time – walking to work, bus ride to uni – with thikr.

أَلاَ بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ

Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (13:28)

I’m so excited for Ramadan =)


Filed under Al-Maghrib, Books, islam, Ramadan