Struggle

Have you ever struggled with obligation? Or, no, maybe that isn’t the right word. Because it isn’t obligation so much as something you just know you should be doing. But the problem is that, no matter how deep you dig, you can’t dredge up the strength to actually go through with it. 

And one of the reasons you struggle so much is because you know the things that are holding you back are pathetic. Petty, actually. To admit to them, to put words to the murky thoughts that hold you back would be peeling back the self-protective, rose-colored layers that constantly protect us from seeing those dark corners of our own souls. It would be tantamount to admitting to being spineless, controlled by your circumstances and the people around you. 

But, even knowing this, you can’t find that strength. Yet you look around you and see others who make their decisions and hold their heads high, at peace with the path they’ve chosen. And the words “why not me?” echo in your head, the answers presented readily in the form of all your insecurities, your indecisiveness.

Nothing worth having comes easy.