Back to School Vibe

I LOVE back to school. I love that feeling of new supplies just waiting to be used, the anticipation, the promise of a whole new chance to finally realize your potential. I love the smell of new books =/. That crisp paper smell. Yumm.

I bought my textbooks and they look amaazzzing! I’m taking four courses this semester. After two years of nonstop psychology courses I’ve decided to broaden my horizons, take a look at what else is out there. So I registered in Anthropology 203 – Introduction or Social Anthropology, Philosophy 279 – Logic I, History 307 – The Contemporary World, and of course Psychology 383 – Personality. I really, really wanted an English Lit course, but those were booked full so quick, by the time I realized what I wanted and how to go about getting it, it was way too late. It’s all good though! I still have two more years – three if I can get that combined degree! – to take all the courses my geeky heart desires. I  can’t wait to get started. Only three more days =D

What’s your flavor?

You’re all probably familiar with the faith-o-meter. That elusive yet very real measurement of just how well our faith is doing. And you notice its fluctuations based on how that faith translates over into your life. Are you going to the mosque more often? Murmuring an ‘alhamdulillah’ after you sneeze? Thanking God more often than usual?

Well for me it’s always been my eyebrows. They too fluctuate according to my deen level. Right now, I’m at an all time high. I’ve decided that my tomorrow begins today, blah blah blah, etc etc, so I put an end to it. The plucking that is. And I’m now sporting two, untouched fringes above my eyes. They’re not that bad. Just very untouched. Huh.

Right, so a friend was over, one that I haven’t seen in about two years, and she remarks upon them.

F: You looked so much hotter before. What in Syria it’s halaal and in Canada it’s haram? What an embarrassment! You’re going to university.
S&S: Embarrassment how?
F:  You look like a monkey.
S&S: Thanks, I love you too oh buddy mine! But seriously, embarrassing how?
F: I mean, uni’s full of hot, eligible guys.. no one’s going  to look at you twice like that..
S&S: *with the whole excuse me attitude* Habeebi, those guys can kiss this goodbye. I’m not into that. It’s all about the brothers who wouldn’t like it any other way… the one’s with their beards down to their navel, you feel me??
F: EWWWWW!!!!! That’s so gross!

LOOOOL! Thing is, she was sooo serious. Haram. This was while we were putting the food down for iftar. I think she lost her appetite.

But seriously…

Do you know what I’m saying?!

Thirsty???

YES! (and not just because I’m fasting… *ache* *groan* *growl*)

A few years ago I read a story, and it’s been with me every since. Anytime I want something, or I plan to go for something I remember this story and I ask myself just how bad I want it.

Once, a man went to a Sheikh with a compliant. He said “Oh Sheikh! I want, more than anything, to see the Prophet Mohammed in my dreams. But I never do. Can you please help me?” The Sheikh said that he could and took the man into his house. At dinnertime, he called him into a room, where he served him platter upon platter of salty fish. Not once did he offer him a cup of water, and not once did the poor  man ask for a cup of water. The man waited patiently for the Sheikh to give him some water, but dinner time turned to bed time, and still no water. The Sheikh left the room, and the man grew hopeful. But when the Sheikh came back, all he carried were linens for the bed. He left again, again without leaving any water. The man, thirsty though he was, went to sleep.

The next morning, he woke up and realized that he hadn’t seen the Prophet at all. When the Sheikh came in, it was to see a livid man, who claimed that he had failed in his promise.

“Well,” asked the Sheikh, “what did you see?”

“Water!” spat the man. “Jugs brimming with water, water cascading from waterfalls, rivers, springs, wells, lakes… any form of water you can imagine I saw in my dream last night, but not once did I see the Prophet!”

The Sheikh replied “when you thirst for the sight of the Prophet as you thirsted for water tonight, then and only then will you see him!”

It always leaves me asking, all those things I procrastinate on – and the list is quite long – just how badly do I thirst for them? Do I crave them? Because if I did, then I’d surely have found a way to achieve them rather than leaving them simmering on the back burner for so long.

Alhamdulillah, I’ve started with a few… after God alone knows how long. Here’s to the rest then, inshAllah!!

So how badly do you want it?

Lookin’ for some Blackberry luuurve 03

Piss off [noun] – An event or situation for which there is no solution or is forced upon you by circumstance. Usually involving something that could have been avoided if the other person would just change!

Y’all know my bold right? Well I bought it exactly 16 days ago from the source for a sum of 249.00. Today, I was informed that the price had gone down 100 bucks. I called The Source to see if I could get a price match and… I’m one day late. ONE DAY!  They have a 15 day and prior policy, and I’m on day 16. The piss off? My dad knew about it two days ago, which would have effectively put me at 14 days – thus safely within the 15 day or prior policy.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut. It’s all good, alhamdulillah. Hasan Al Basri used to say:

I reached my level of piety through four things:

1. I know my Rizq is written and would not be taken away from if Allah has decreed it, so I remain content.

2. I know nobody will do my actions for me so I do them myself and don’t rely on anyone else to do them.

3. I  know my Lord is watching me so I don’t want Him seeing me commit any sin.

4. I know one day I will be standing before Allah (swt) so I try to keep myself prepared for that.

So it’s all good. I was never meant to get that 100 dollars back….

By the way, I LOVE number two!!! SubhanAllah, it’s what I try to live my life by:

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”- Mahatma Gandhi

Purification

**Below is yet another of my gratitude posts. You have been duly warned**

Asalaamualykum! (May peace be on you, you, annndd you!!)

Honestly, it’s straight amazing. I can’t even say that phrase anymore without thinking of the implications behind it. It literally translates “may peace be with you.” So much more heartfelt and meaningful than hi, eh?

Right, so on to the gratitude.

1. alhamdulillah thuma alhamdulillah for everything Allah has blessed me with. After three long years of struggle, and feeling like everything is constantly up in the air all I can say is thank you Good Lord for everything! All the pieces are falling into place, and all my hopes are coming true. I mean my job, my uni, my volunteering, and more are all coming true!
2. Thank you God for my community. I know this is unbearably corny, but be patient with me. I feel… supported. I’ve always been the odd one out, both in Canada before I left and then again in Syria. I never felt like I was with people who wanted what I wanted, who had the same vision or goal. And now, alhamdulillah, I found it =)
3. Alhamdulillah for my strength. I’ve taken three major steps in my life and I feel like each is a leap and a bound on the path I’m yearning to walk. One of these was the whole “To Pluck or not to Pluck” issue, and alhamdulilah we’re back at Not Pluck; this time for good inshAllah. Because this time, when I had my sit down with myself it was crystal clear that I was doing this for the right reasons, which is yet another thing to thank God for.
4. The course I’ve recently attended. A Heart Serene offered by Al Maghrib. So it’s a four-day course complete with an exam, and alhamdulillah it tied in everything above and then some. I have never, EVER laughed so freely, cried with such elation, or hugged so many people in my life. It was brilliant. No wait. That’s inadequate. It was astounding. Reviving. Enlightening. I can’t wait till the next course =D
5. My parents. I love you both more than you can ever imagine. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, spoiling me rotten (solo chicka with four brothers, watchu expect?), being whatever I need, when I need it, and caring enough to let me know when I’m wrong.
6. My blackberry! I don’t know where I’d be without you.

There’s a lot more – everything basically – but today has been one of the longest days of my life. I want sleep and I want it now!

ps: I have a goal: be a better blogger! What on earth happened to a post a day?! Yeesh!

Goodnight world!

Lookin’ for Some Blackberry luuurrrvee 02

I BOUGHT IT!

The bold. The boooooooooooold. The BOOOOLLLLDDDD.

I love it. It’s gorgeous. Amazing. Mine. My precious.

Alhamdulillah.

*sigh*

Heaven. Right here on earth. Who’da thunk it?

Lookin’ for some Blackberry luuurve

I’m the type that falls into obsession at first sight. It’s uncontrollable, irrational, and irritating, but one glance and it’s final: I.Have.To.Have.It.Now.Dear.God.Please.NOW

And that is, unfortunately, what happened the second I clapped eyes on the Blackberry Bold. Unforunate because it’s going to leave yours truly 300 dollars lighter at a time when I’m building my life up from ground zero. But what can I do? I even went in to get – what my Daddy calls – its little sister: the Curve.

Uh, no. Nothin’ doin’.

MusthaveBolddearGodpleaseNOW!!!

Buuuut that’s not going to happen. Two weeks. Less if I can talk my dad into (yet another) loan. Ugh.

I break you don’t, I was always set to self-destruct though

Where you stand tall, I cower
Where you are firm, I falter.
Where you are sure, I stumble.
Where you are whole, I crumble.

When I cower, you shield me.
When I falter, you steady me.
When I stumble, you catch me.
When I crumble, you heal me.

I was listening to If There’s a Rocket Tie me To it, right after listening to Al-Imran by Saad Al-Ghamdi, and this kinda wrote itself. I know they’re fundamentally irreconcilable, but they both have such a tremendous impact on my life. I <3 music and the Quran is my life.

Anyway, this is totally irrelevant in my life, as I’m the one that’s always running around picking up the pieces – both my own and others – but there you have it. Alhamdulillah.

But, sometimes…. sometimes I wish I knew where this was all going!

Until you give in

Why won’t you let me in? Your pain is my pain, your wounds my wounds. Yet all you see are our differences, highlighted, underlined, capitalized in bold black. You begrudge me my blessings, scorn my pain.

Yet for all the pain you cause me, you are my heart, my soul. I love you. Come tomorrow, I’ll be here, patiently waiting, forever and a day.

So why won’t you let me in?

Fix You – Coldplay

Lifehouse Love

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

<33 lifehouse!!

Jogging with music is beautiful. You can’t hear the smack of your feet on the pavement or your harsh breathing. The world, constantly present and demanding, is held at bay, distant and hauntingly silent. It’s like you’re suspending in time, insulated in the music that surrounds you, pumping through your veins. You float along, leaving your past behind, finding meaning in the strain and lyrics.

This ‘counting the blessings’ and ‘enjoying each day’ thing is amazing. It reminds me to be thankful all the time. To take the time to look at all my accomplishments and pat myself on the back rather than beating myself up over the things I didn’t have the time for. Alhamdulillah. The first steps are always the hardest, but it gets easier with time, eh?