Brilliant.

floating in soft
airs of providence.
tossed willfully
without a will.
tethered gently
inexorably.
set me free
release me.
save this Soul.

Today, I had the privilege of attending a lecture featuring Mordecai Briemberg, a professor and a peace activist, at the University of Calgary. The event was hosted by the university’s SPHR club – Solidarity for Palestinian Human Rights. People like Briemberg give me hope. They give me vision, and they give me strength. Through these people, I can feel the pulse of the future beating, and suddenly I’m not alone, the end isn’t quite as far off, and a solution is not only feasible – it’s imminent.

Now I’ve been to so many of these, read so many books and articles, watched so many documentaries and news reports I’m rarely, if ever, shocked by what I see. In fact, it’s usually a gruesome reminder of losses. But today, unlike any other day, I learnt of Canada’s involvement. Its involvement in attempting to – and often succeeding in – restricting the rights to freedom of speech, employing censorship, as well as a general lack of ‘democratic’ values.

I mean, I’m not blinded to the fact that censorship *does* in fact occur. But I was never fully aware of the extent of it. Example: The days following the earthquake in Indonesia, front pages: Globe and Mail, Sun, Herald. Even the Metro Newspaper was running front page coverage. And then we have the National Post. Front page? An interview with the kindly, old, frail, oppressed, and misunderstood Kurt Westergaard. Doesn’t your heart break for the man? Having to endure 10 houses and countless cars to escape the wrath of those goddammed fundamentalists?

Earthquake what? Over hundred dead who?

Sickening.

So thanks Briemberg. I pray we all have your courage and vision to continue to fight the good fight.

Exams… what’s the point? Why can’t you just take our word for it?

Or,  in the words of my wonderous History prof:

“Exams are basically a game by the name of “guess what’s in my head.” Well, I’m currently thinking about whether I’ll get to play Batman on X-Box over this weekend. How is this relevant to your course? Exactly. It isn’t.”

Thank the Lord for reasonable teachers =)

I LOVE back to school. I love that feeling of new supplies just waiting to be used, the anticipation, the promise of a whole new chance to finally realize your potential. I love the smell of new books =/. That crisp paper smell. Yumm.

I bought my textbooks and they look amaazzzing! I’m taking four courses this semester. After two years of nonstop psychology courses I’ve decided to broaden my horizons, take a look at what else is out there. So I registered in Anthropology 203 – Introduction or Social Anthropology, Philosophy 279 – Logic I, History 307 – The Contemporary World, and of course Psychology 383 – Personality. I really, really wanted an English Lit course, but those were booked full so quick, by the time I realized what I wanted and how to go about getting it, it was way too late. It’s all good though! I still have two more years – three if I can get that combined degree! – to take all the courses my geeky heart desires. I  can’t wait to get started. Only three more days =D

You’re all probably familiar with the faith-o-meter. That elusive yet very real measurement of just how well our faith is doing. And you notice its fluctuations based on how that faith translates over into your life. Are you going to the mosque more often? Murmuring an ‘alhamdulillah’ after you sneeze? Thanking God more often than usual?

Well for me it’s always been my eyebrows. They too fluctuate according to my deen level. Right now, I’m at an all time high. I’ve decided that my tomorrow begins today, blah blah blah, etc etc, so I put an end to it. The plucking that is. And I’m now sporting two, untouched fringes above my eyes. They’re not that bad. Just very untouched. Huh.

Right, so a friend was over, one that I haven’t seen in about two years, and she remarks upon them.

F: You looked so much hotter before. What in Syria it’s halaal and in Canada it’s haram? What an embarrassment! You’re going to university.
S&S: Embarrassment how?
F:  You look like a monkey.
S&S: Thanks, I love you too oh buddy mine! But seriously, embarrassing how?
F: I mean, uni’s full of hot, eligible guys.. no one’s going  to look at you twice like that..
S&S: *with the whole excuse me attitude* Habeebi, those guys can kiss this goodbye. I’m not into that. It’s all about the brothers who wouldn’t like it any other way… the one’s with their beards down to their navel, you feel me??
F: EWWWWW!!!!! That’s so gross!

LOOOOL! Thing is, she was sooo serious. Haram. This was while we were putting the food down for iftar. I think she lost her appetite.

But seriously…

Do you know what I’m saying?!

K, while this might not be Islamicaly sound, it’s vastly amusing! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did =)

Here’s a quick translation of all the Islamic terms:

Iftar - meal that breaks the fast (when the sun comes up). Panculturally most awaited time of any day, hands down
Witr - one prayer. You do the sequence only once.
Sahoor - meal that starts ones fast (before the sun comes up). Panculturally, the time of day when the most stuffing of the face ensues
Thob - long white robe wore by men.
MashAllah - Whatever Allah (God) wills. Said when you see or do something good
Salat - prayer
Jammat - congregational prayer
Qiyyam - prayer at night (supererogatory)
Dhikr - remembrance of Allah.
Fajir - morning prayer (before the sun comes up) or…
Fajir - the time of day before sun comes up
Jummah - Friday congregational prayer
Taraweeh - congregational prayer after the night prayers, exclusive to Ramadan
Akhi - my brother!
Masjid - mosque
Jumma - also Friday.
[covered in black spots] – refers to a heart that has sinned. Each sin results in a black dotwhich stains the heart
Alim - scholar
Kufi - we all know what this one is
Sidi - sir, also like buddy, or pal
Hooka - waterpipe
Haram - non permissible
Maghreb – prayer that occurs at sunset

There are certain things in life that make us see red. Where we can, quite literally, feel our blood boil, our vision haze, and are overcome by an overwhelming urge to rip into something. Well, at least I hope it’s ‘we’ and not just ‘me’ but either way it’s there, and when it rears its malicious head, you best stay out of my way.

That doesn’t happen all that often. Or perhaps all too often depending on your point of view. Injustice is one. Blind, stubborn ignorance. Racism. JEALOUSY, thuma jealousy, thuma al-jealousy!!

I was talking to a friend of mine, and she just bought everything rushing back. The hatred and the pointless, selfish jealousy yeah sure, but mostly the horrible affects you have to deal with and clean up after when they’re done with you. Let me explain.

But first, there’s a need to differentiate between the types of jealousy, I think. There’s the “Omg, I wish I could be as good/successful/etc as so and so, mashAllah!” This is productive jealousy. It’s good because you’re striving to be a better person using another someone else as a role model, and you’ve said mashAllah, which protects said someone.

The second is benign jealousy. This one is tricky. It can turn malicious at any second. An example would be “I wish I had that car!” Notice the lack of mashAllah. Not good, not good at all. But at the same time, you’re not actively wishing them harm; rather you just want what they have.

The third is straight malicious jealousy. “Bitch! What has she done to deserve that car? Burn and die, hoebag.” Pretty much self-explanatory. This is when one wants something some one else has, and actually wishes that person didn’t have it, or loses it in some painful/humiliating manner.

Now, I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the affects of jealousy. My grandma used to tell me I have a weak star. Translate: it means I’m more susceptible to the ‘evil eye’ than others. Now, I’m not going to get into the evil eye discussion. Suffice to say I believe nothing can harm or benefit you expect what Allah (swt) wills (yeah, I’m a predestined-ite), and that to ward it off there are certain things it’s your responsibility to do: specific ayas, dua’as you should read.

But, and this is a big but, that does not excuse those goddamned people who insist on harming others through their jealousy.

Examples? I have many, but here are ones that come foremost to mind:

1. “You rented a car?? But you’ve been in the city for less than a week! My, you sure work fast!”
   Result: Kitchen burns down later in the day
2. “You rented another car right after the first? You sure don’t wait before spending all your money, eh?”
   Result: Car accident in said rented car. Opponents: Our VW Golf vs a semi-truck. Not. Fun.
3. At work, my coworkers are in awe of my typing speed. They call teachers in from other departments to witness. All teachers start to come to me to type up their assignments/work rather than the people who get paid to do it. “Miss. S&S, you think you can walk in here, at 19, and just because you’re Canadian become a grade 6 teacher and take away my job?”
   Result: Over the weekend, I burnt two fingers, sprained three, had the door slammed on my left hand, and fell down the stairs, scraping two of the fingers on my right hand raw. I’m not exaggerating. I wish I was.
4. The most eligible bachelor in my Dad’s village asks me to marry him. Due to familial pressure (I’m threatened with bodily harm and ghadab (hate for life kind of thing) from my grandmother) I decide to give the guy a chance.
   Result: The day after I met him, I spend five days heaving till I vomit blood.
5. Day before our midterm: “You barely study and yet manage to get better grades than I do. I spend all night reviewing, that’s so unfair.”
   Result: day of our midterm I wake up sick as a dog, barely make it to class, fail the test.
6. “I love the way you dress.”
   Result: trip down stairs, breaking the heel on my boot and scraping my right hand raw (again).

There are more, but this is getting me pissed off all over again. Then you have those who, because you’re doing something they don’t have the dedication or balls to step up and do, belittle you, degrade you, and give you the worst time of it.

Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to stop. Whoever the heck you are, you’re going to be satisfied with what you have, and leave everyone else the hell alone. Jeez. And I, I’m going to pray to the good Lord that you learn to leave others the heck alone.

Even the Prophet said: “Jealousy eats up faith (good deeds) like fire burns dry wood.”

So, really, you’re actually benefitting your conceited self if you’d just leave everyone alone.

You feel me?

Janitor: Yeah, we got him. And he’s gonna pay.
J.D.: They’re actually arresting someone for stealing pudding and toilet paper?
Janitor: No. They found twenty bottles of Vicodin in his backpack. *pause* did you steal pudding and toilet paper?
J.D.: What? No! I hate pudding and I don’t use toilet paper. *pause* I have one of those french things that shoots water up your butt.
Janitor: Bidet?
J.D.: Bidet to you, sir.

LOL!

mad Scrub <3

Every year I do the same damn mistake. I leave off my days till the last possible minute, and end up fasting them directly before Ramadan. So, I practically start a week earlier than everyone else. And while it’s nice because that way I get some practice in and the first day isn’t as hard on me as it is on others, it would be nice if it was by choice rather than having to do it because I falied to do it earlier.

But it’s all good. The first day was reallllyyy easy. I was craving cookie dough like you wouldn’t believe though. It’s all my fault =(! I became a fan of cookie dough on facebook, and then went through the pictures. OHMYGOD in heaven. *sniffle* I made my Dad drop me off at Shoppers so I could pick up some serious chocolate on the way home from taraweeh though. And then I couldn’t eat any of it…

Speaking of praying at the mosque. I heart fajir prayer there like you wouldn’t believe <3. Only I get there with about enough time to pray the taheeyat and the sunnah and then we start. Tomorrow, I’m going to make an effort to go a little earlier so I can just sit there and reflect and read some Quran.

And speaking of reading Quran, who’s on page 41? That’s riiighhtt! Moi! Why am I so excited? Because this is only the second time I’ve ever read so far. I have a confession to make… I’ve never read the whole Quran. Never, ever never. The furthest I’ve gone is 49. So would you look at that; living in Syria did pay off! *gasp*

And, finally, speaking of Syria. I miss Ramadan there sooooo much =(. I’m honestly considering spending next Ramadan there. You never know. If our house in the Sham is empty by then (there are tenants right now) why not?? It’d be nice to be all alone (LOOL. right. with my family? Imbossible. But a girl can dream, no?)

Ramadan Kareem everyone!!!!!